Accompanied by Jules Holland on Later Lily Allen sings THREE which draws from her life, as a child, and as a parent
Why should choosing to be authentically you be such a big deal? Why do we only celebrate anyone who has the chutzpah it takes to call time on the-elephant-in-the-room, as Lily did in her book My Thoughts Exactly where her honest intentions are nothing short of what we’ve come to know and love about her, speaking from a place of truth.
Therapeutic in of itself and a rites of passage into being fully being her own person
Who doesn’t love that? But would you take such a risk, while your antagonists are still in your life? She’s brave, but it gets to a point where you keep taking someone else’s nonsense or you set the record straight, and as a performer you’ve experienced it, especially as a woman performer.
Lily Allen no shame
Following some pretty horrendous events in her younger life, when she was particularly vulnerable, Lily Allen’s no shame attitude is evidence of having come come through those tough times with a fab personality and a level of maturity that anyone who sees the value of personal development can aspire to emulate.
Along the way she’s known to have adopted EFT Tapping for food cravings and wonky eating which as you’ll know from the mantra I repeat time and again:
Food cravings are a symptom not the cause of weight issues
This is due to them being deeply routed in the causes of emotional stress and trauma. I won’t assume to presume, but that Lily Allen sought to deal with her behaviours indicates she’ll have found an inner centre for healing. One of EFT’s first achievements is through it’s calming effect that allows the focus to heal.
The areas to heal are the nagging ones that just won’t go away. When other symptoms arrive they ride on the back of any original unresolved trauma – they have a snowball-like effect – and as we age it grows. You may have experienced seeing it in elderly relatives when they become less mobile and/or cognitive.
This is why I’m an advocate for dealing with trauma earlier than later in life… it takes hold and you stop believing there’s a way out, you might even think you’re broken. You’re definitely NOT!
Being authentic at work
One way or another in the performance space you never know who you’re going to work with in the future, and it’s nice to be nice, but there’s no room for being disingenuous, as much as you might come across it.
Being unreal makes you forgettable because no-one knows what you stand for, and when no-one knows what you stand for it’s harder to match you to suitable projects, because despite a performers resume which aims for the widest appeal for work, just as you’re not right for them, they’re not right for you either. Knowing that makes it easier to know what to apply for, setting the intention for what you want.
You already know what you specialise in; actor, comedian, dancer, musician, singer, you can keep digging into layer after layer which is where you find more of what you love doing, the joy you bring an audience, and what brings in a living wage.
Perhaps you’re quiet in some arena’s and make up for it by being noisy in others, Jim Rohn an American Business & Personal Development trainer, once said the best sales people are introverts. this is because they listen, they hear what their customers want, they don’t push their own agenda just because it gets them the best commission. They hear what’s needed and as a performer to a great degree the same principles apply, and that’s what you bring to your work.
When you’re quietly confident in your vision for a part, a rendition, when that comes from a place of knowing conveying that can be challenging. Especially when others broadcast loud empty disconnected white noise. When you don’t talk for the sake of it, your contribution matters more than most because of it, and when you have something to say, people listen.
Because of that others sometimes take advantage, they try to bully or overrule in some way, but you have the advantage of being sensitive and your personality brings much to the party, no matter who you’re with, or what you’re doing. Remember that.
The reason it’s so important is that people love personality, it’s playful and individualistic. When you’re relaxed you’re able to have clarity because you’re not worrying about what other people think about you, i.e. and by the way they have enough going on in their own lives anyhoo. You either resonate with people or you don’t.
It means you’re open to giving and receiving in the moment, because the little things not only mean a lot but they help build rapport, which stops you from coming over as unintentionally disingenuous. Is this ringing any bells?
My challenge to you today is to see which parts of your life are out-of-sync so you can be as relaxed as the-hell-yeah version of you. Do you overly accommodate other people or situations and let them override what you genuinely want?
Being authentic, knowing yourself, owning your voice, that’s what makes you stand out for all the right reasons, tuning in with all the shades of yourself is how you truly find her.
Step up to the mark
PS – Directing your own destiny begins by arranging a quick 15-min chat which kick-starts having more energy to develop what you really, really want.