Are you trying to do it all, build a career, looking after others, run a home, have fun with a partner, your family and friends? Trying to tick all the boxes!
Are you a successful actor, comedian, dancer or singer? Have you worked your socks off to get where you are today, driven by an inner knowing that this is what you do best?
Are you trying to balance ALL the spinning plates because:
- You’re having to be up earlier than everyone else, and in bed when everyone else is out playing?
- You’re working into the night, when everyone else is relaxing?
- You ARE the entertainment?
- You feel at a loss once the show is over?
- You’re sometimes triggered into a self-destruct pattern?
- You want more balance in your life?
- You have those private moments of self-doubt?
- You feel you’re paying too high a price for your talent?
- You are unable to maintain a long-term healthy relationship?
- You want to have and provide a stable life for your kids?
- You want it all?
And why shouldn’t you want it all?
It really doesn’t have to be one OR the other, but it takes work to make all the elements come together, so that you can get the best out of your time, inside and outside of the limelight, with both feet firmly planted.
Taking the opportunity to bring all the elements of your ideal life together under one umbrella of accomplishment, let’s you do things on your terms.
Would you like to know more?
I offer an immensely private and confidential service offering you a chance to tweak what isn’t working. Then you bring what’s out-of-sync back into balance.
The busyness of being busy
It can be quite an ask, life is so busy, can you have it all, and if you can, then how? When life is so busy, when you’re in demand, the very thing you’ve been working towards. But are you addicted to the busy-ness, what is all the activity compensation for, what is being neglected, is it you by any chance?
If you are reading this I’m guessing you’re not quite where you’d like to be in terms of getting the best from it.
This is especially so for women, and although we may well share views on the social, -political and economic implications in these matters, dealing with it all in real terms is where I can add something really useful, by introducing you to some superb tools that are yours for life, once you’re practiced in int how-to of applying them.
When you’re the one who ends up juggling all the balls, organising everyone, and as good as you are at it, (if not) too good sometimes, even you need time off.
Do you have a partner who learned to do things badly in order to cooperate with your need to be the only one who can do things properly lol.
I worked with a guy once who admitted as much. And if you do you’ve considered the likelihood of how much you contributed in creating that particular live-in monster. And it’s what we do to ourselves, right?
Running on empty
But running on empty, not being help-able, unless it’s on your terms, can lead to further alienation from those nearest and dearest, i.e. your family (or those considered so).
It turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy, where tensions rise, moods swing and no-one is happy living in the war-zone of a domestic battle-of-wills.
What happened, where did it all go horribly wrong? This wasn’t how you imagined your family-life, and it wasn’t meant to happen to you.
There can be all manner of reasons for it, maybe there are family patterns that you’re unwittingly being dragged into.
The really good news is that you can get free of it quicker than you’d dream possible once you make the decision to change it.
One condition that stems from stress is depression, and Brian had his diagnosed at 17, and at 47 he’d been through 2-yrs of counselling and innumerable sets of medication, but nothing made a dent. In addition, some personal things that he wished hadn’t have happen to him had already taken place.
I positively encouraged his ongoing scepticism, it became a running-joke, but within no time of starting to work together, his depression and all the accompanying aches and pains had gone.
He was so thrilled with his results, because although his symptoms lifted, “like a fog”, the best part was the difference it made to his relationship with his kids. He wrote to me a year later to say how much of a raving fan of EFT he is, and how much it’s re-shaped him for the better.
On automatic pilot
Further evidence that this is affecting your quality of life is found in actually NOT Noticing, not being present for others, simply because you’ve got too much on.
One indication that you’re running your life on automatic-pilot is when your schedule is like a winter season premiership coaching programme, today is x, and at 9.00 am we’ll xxx, until xxx, then we’ll xxx, etc:
- You get agitated
- You can’t relax
- There’s an increasing internal pressure to disengage
- Your sense of humour leaves-the-building
- You feel under-par but can’t put your finger on it
Of course you get the gist, but there’s a price, it’s coming or you’re already in it, it’s stressful, it might even be discombobulating, turning your world into a whirlwind. And most importantly of all, it’s unfulfiling.
But it’s all reversible, with the sorts of approaches (found here) that put you at the centre of reconnecting with yourself.
Putting yourself last
I’ve heard people say that putting yourself first is selfish, but it’s one of those urban myths we were taught long-ago. There are so many reasons why this thinking is screwed.
Firstly it takes you to the edge, because you can only bring the current quality (of you) to the party (of life). If you’re running under-par, at say 50% of your capability, that’s all you’re going to deliver to everything you do, the people you love, how deeply and emphatically you connect, etc.
Why would you want to continue on that path?
But there’s another price, that is especially telling if you have children. When we bear in mind that we’re copycat creatures (in our simplest form), the younger generation in our family/tribe constantly learning who they are through us, just as we did before that.
So who wouldn’t want to be in great shape, with a positive attitude, up for living life, having fun and frolics, because if my behaviour and reactions is constantly emitting fear, inflexibility, hesitation, bad moods and automatic verbal responses bereft of thought, sensitivity and consideration, what are they inheriting and taking into the next generation?
And likewise, what is it teaching them about taking responsibility, trusting their own instincts, if they’re often being told they are wrong?
The good news
When you learn to relax the reigns that control things, you will become more connected to everything and everyone of importance to you by:
- Increasing your levels of good quality energy and vitality
- Fully engaging with life
- Developing better coping strategies
- Having more fun in the process
And just one of the tools that you get to take away, that helps you become your own expert; is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) where an EFT Research Study >recognised it’s substantial benefits.
One of the main techniques you’ll learn to easily apply as and when you need it, will stop what’s going on right now.
There are inroads being made to get this tool accepted by NICE that will find it being used officially by the NHS over the next decade or so, as CBT (for example) is being shown to have lost some of it’s effectiveness.
Take the next steps
There’s no such thing as a stress-free life, but learning the smartest tools for change makes all the difference and will ultimately equip you to become your own life expert.
Click through to arrange a chat that helps offload the type of stress that’s driving you bonkers.
P.S. I’d love to hear what you’re doing that is bringing you into more vibrant health and vitality. If you’d like to read more posts like this, you can find the Handling Stress series here…
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