Spring is definitely in the air, and it makes more sense to celebrate Valentine’s Day at this time of the year than earlier on. Or does it?
I wondered whether the holiday came out of the deepest recesses of winter and keeping our happy hormones ticking along.
After all it falls on the heels of Christmas which can be a rather challenging ‘holiday’, what with extended family pressures, the cost, or unhappy memories and reminders.
In which case the statistics probably indicate that post Christmas, around mid-January, would make more sense in terms of keeping the post-Xmas blues at bay.
But according to Wikipedia the origins align with the death of St Valentinus, although it was the writer Chaucer who popularised it in the 14th century.
What do you love about your valentine?
So today, we’ll explore relationships, so can I ask:
- Are you with the love of your life?
- Did you celebrate Valentine’s Day as romantically as you would have liked?
- Do you enjoy / luxuriate in the romantic side of life with your partner?
- Is your lover not as romantic as you wish?
- Could you vamp things up a bit?
- Do you have a lover?
- Have you given up on that side of life because it’s safer?
And if you’re with your soul-mate:
- Do you still tell them how much you love them?
- Do they tell you how amazing you are?
- Have you ever told them how much you love them?
- Is that too soppy?
- Is it too embarrassing?
- Is it hard to say the words?
Is there a part of you that would like to be more demonstrative, where you’d like to be more comfortable with that side of your relationship?
Perhaps you’d like to have more fun in the bedroom, and love your body beautiful when you’ve never truly felt you could relax enough?
Or do you avoid romantic moments and days such as Valentine’s, like the plague?
Are you avoiding even looking for a new relationship, because you’ve been badly hurt in the past, and it feels unlikely anything will change?
Make a decision today
If any of those apply to you and you’d like to tweak some things, you can make a new decision to be the new version of you, and start turning over a brand new leaf.
Are you ready to start creating the quality of life you’ve been promising yourself for longer than you care to remember.
There are better ways and you owe it to yourself to sweep out the cobwebs.
You can start by asking yourself these questions, and writing down the answers, as part of your self-enquiry this week:
- How much time do we spend together?
- How much fun do I get out of our time together?
- How much do I feel heard by my partner, without them responding with a solution?
- How much have we just fallen into familiar patterns?
- How proactive are we to ensure we keep things fresh?
- How often do we have a scheduled date night?
- How much do I like being touched, and how they touch me?
Then you can start to add more of your own questions. This information may just give you something to focus on improving.
I’ve noticed a wonderful thing about personal relationships, that when we work on the other ‘stuff’ that’s sitting on the back-boiler. You know the ‘stuff’ I mean, those areas we’ve been shelving for months, years, even decades.
I know it from personal experience, and it’s one of the real joys for me when I hear client’s retell of how their personal relationship with a partner and their connection with kids completely shifts into a subtle new dimension. It’s as though the blinkers have fallen away from the eyes and people get to know each other as though for the first time, while having the familiarity of trust.
They love it, because it’s a closeness they might not have accessed for an extended period, sometimes a lifetime, which has often been taken away by life experience of one sort or another.
And as their Happy Hormones Coach that’s the bit that feels most worthwhile for everyone involved, to say nothing of the ancestral patterns that needed to and do get broken, so they can stop being passed down the line. A topic for another day!
If you’re ready to bring some of that into your life then let’s arrange a chat… by clicking here…