You’ve heard that saying – what a difference a day makes. How is it that when you have grown up feeling shy and awkward in social situations, meeting new people, starting a new class, new kids joining your class who you wouldn’t dream of going towards and welcoming.
Where does that behaviour come from and how come it can take a lifetime to offload it?
I grew up like that and thought nothing of it. In fact it probably presented a very good excuse NOT to get involved in anything that took me out of my comfort zone.
But now its completely different and I’m not sure when it changed. My work involves meeting lots of new people and starting up conversation. Yet there was a time when that would have haunted me, before, during and afterwards.
In retrospect I can see that I learned it at home. My mum was like that and my dad was hardly there, so although his work would have involved getting into conversation and ice-breaking it didn’t come back into the home.
And then that saying would always be bandied around … you know the one:
I cringe when I think about it now, because there’s nothing like a good bit of reinforcement for keeping us ‘stuck’.
Confidence is key
The difference I feel now and how I felt back when … there’s a chasm of difference in what I can achieve and feel comfortable with. I no longer have to accommodate it … and that’s a massive achievement of itself too.
It simply means you can live the life you want to, meet the people you want and need to, without any qualms. Its glorious and I think a feel a high-five coming on – lol! It really makes such a massive difference in how you can be in your life without those niggling doubts or putting-things-off because of dealing with the awkwardness of meeting new folk.
What have been your experiences of ‘growing your confidence’? Are you where you want to be with it, are you still getting there or maybe you haven’t even dipped a toe in. When I see my nieces behaving confidently in a variety of social settings, I just feel proud, in the knowledge that they won’t have to go through the discomfort and life-hampering that lacking self confidence involves.
It would be great to hear your views and experiences. I wonder which end of the confidence spectrum you are now and where you started out. Please make a comment and connect on here.